People often tell me they’re surprised that my blog is so “honest.” This always surprises me. I mean, aren’t most people honest? Occasionally I’ll meet someone who is dishonest but it’s quite rare, almost like meeting someone who steals. My mom is honest and she raised my brother and I to be that way, too. I feel guilty even if I almost lie.
I recall once when I was a 1st grader I told another 1st grader that the Chrysler building was taller than the Empire State Building. (I had looked at the Chrysler building from the street below and, because of the angle, it actually looked taller than the Empire State Building.) When I realized later that I had been incorrect and had inadvertently misspoken (a.k.a. I had lied) I was mortified and felt very guilty for many years afterwards.
It will probably surprise some of you to know that I do spend quite a bit of time thinking about whose feathers I may have ruffled with the blog. I thought, for example, that the Mademoiselle Zazie folks were going to be upset about my poem last week, but then I got a very nice e-mail from them saying they actually enjoyed it. They also mentioned that “Zazie” is a popular name in France and that their show is selling well and they’re not concerned that Korea has, so far, passed. Needless to say, I was relieved. I also felt a bit self-conscious writing a poem for the blog last week but so far people have been mostly kind about it. One friend wrote on Facebook that it was, “…just enough to cause a little stir but not enough to unleash a storm.”
But the truth is I seem incapable of not saying the things that are on my mind. I have learned to do so a bit more diplomatically over the years but I’ve also found that honesty and passion are far more compelling (and less dull) than diplomacy. Case in point, I had a great playwriting teacher in high school named David Rowland and he once said, “Are you going to believe me more if I say ‘I’m angry.’ Or…” –and here he stood up and pounded his desk and yelled at us– “…I’M ANGRY! I’M ANGRY! I’M ANGRY!”