The KidScreen Summit was exhausting. Being an indie is exhausting. And being a boss is exhausting. So, my friends, my foes and my froes, it should come as no surprise to you that your faithful blogger is exhausted.
I am exhausted from arguing about budgets on conference calls. I am exhausted from explaining why music for a preschooler must be as good as music for adults. I am exhausted by an industry that pretends to value children but really just values selling to children. I am exhausted from eating soup every day for lunch. I am exhausted from making change upon change to character designs that were perfect two months ago. I am exhausted from waiting for replies to e-mails that date back to MIP Jr. I’m exhausted by the fact that all of our awards and all our high ratings don’t protect us from misguided notes. I’m exhausted from smiling during meetings when all I want to do is scream. I’m exhausted by my yearlong course in how to get a show off the ground in Canada. I’m exhausted from not having the time to go on my runs by the Hudson. I’m exhausted from carrying my brown canvas bag full of show bibles around the world like a preschool TV Willy Loman. I’m exhausted from the 200 e-mails a day that I swat gently back across the planet like badminton birdies. I’m exhausted from the blood, sweat and tears that we put into every script, every composition and every frame of animation. I’m exhausted by what the dwindling license fees have done to my beloved preschool TV industry. I’m exhausted by spending more time discussing the toy aisles than the stories. I am exhausted by not having time to read a book. I am exhausted by the fact that people still lie. I’m exhausted from all the weekends I’ve given up to our Little Airplane Academy, to writing our pilots and, of course, to writing this blog every week, snow or shine.
So what do I do about this? Clearly, I need a rest. I need to replenish. So I’ll take a day or two off with Mary and walk in the woods and drink wine. I’ll pet a dog. I’ll eat a dumpling. And then I’ll get back to work. And I promise this is the last time I will ever complain.
Because no one ever said that having an entire business built around making preschool television shows would be easy. And although I’m exhausted, I am still here. And I’m still excited about every new project we have going on at Little Airplane. And, just like an athlete or a new mom, I am determined to survive this fatigue. Because running this little company is my Olympics. And these preschool shows I make are my babies. And they need me.
So what’s exhausting you?