We defy anyone to look back at junior high photos and say, ‘Damn. I look fine.’ It’s not possible; you’ll invariably suffer ‘What was I thinking?’ remorse at some point. In poring over 10 years-worth of issues, we’ve come across some choice head-scratchers that stirred up similar feelings…
A female Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (1997) – one of these things is not like the others, indeed
Celebriducks (2002) – rubber ducky gets a celebrity makeover. Spooky
Slimshadyworld.com (2001) – Flash animated webisodes for kids starring the master of controversy himself, Eminem
Tooth Tunes (2005) – a toothbrush that transmits sound vibrations through the teeth, up the jawbone and into the inner ear to keep kids entertained while brushing
Van-Pires (1997) – a series in which alien cars, hatched from a meteor, drive around and feast on the oil of other cars, sucking them dry a la Dracula. It aired for two months.
WowWee Alive Chimp Head (2005) – a life-like, animatronic chimp head. (‘Nuff said)
Xeronine (2001) – has-been kid star Gary Coleman was slated to provide the voice of the child-like robotic lead character of this ill-fated series. What you talkin’ ’bout, Xeronine?